Observations
by rwf000
Summary: A short one shot done as a test in regards to restrictive writing, and exploration of themes and techniques.


**Observations**

The first time I saw her, she looked a little lost, and scared. I wanted to approach her, yet didn't want to destroy what she was in that exact moment, either. So I simply watched her from afar.

She was looking at me, someone so beautiful, too beautiful. It made me uneasy. Was I doing something wrong. Had I annoyed her. I could tell even though she was smiling, she was hiding something.

It ended up that we were in the same class this year. Maybe I would get the chance to know her. I could ask her about her hairstyle, or her cute ribbon. Was red her favourite colour, or did she feel it simply matched her hair. None of her stationary was red, after all.

We're going to be in the same class for the next year. I don't feel fully prepared. What if she tries to talk to me? What is she coldly ignores me? Oh, she looked at me. Her eyes are so deep. They almost seem to look right through me.

She's skipping lunch again. I don't know why she does that to herself. She'll have no energy for the afternoon classes, and fall asleep. Is it money? Or perhaps someone is bullying her? I haven't seen her smile in a while, either.

I first noticed that she rarely eats lunch a few weeks ago. Most of the class had gone to eat outside due to the weather, yet there she stayed, all alone. She was so cute. Like a lost puppy. She didn't know what to do.

I stopped eating lunch myself. It felt uncomfortable to eat when she was around. She had her own reasons, but I didn't want her to think I was doing so because of her. I told some of the other girls it was an effort to lose weight.

She was sleeping during the afternoon classes. Her hair gently covered her face. She looked like a model. She was smiling in her slumber, too. A girl like that must have such amazing dreams. I feel warm every time I see that smile.

After school it's always the same. First, she stops by the library. She often reads during breaks. When she loses herself in a story, it's one of the few times you can see her full range of emotions. She lowers her guard, and becomes easy to read. It's a side of her that few people notice, and fewer still appreciate.

I never get to see what she reads though. I can make guesses based on her reactions, but I keep my distance and look through the books myself. The last book was a mystery, so maybe this time I'll go with a romance. I wonder if I asked her for any recommendations if she would react positively.

After the library it's off to the station to catch the train home. She always sits alone on her phone. But I never see her texting anyone in class. Her family? Some friends from her old school? She never shows much emotion when she's on her phone though. She always looks a little sad. Maybe she doesn't have a good situation at home. I wish I could help her.

She just sits there on her phone, looking about the train every so often. Maybe she's just trying to look less lonely? She could always talk to me if she wanted company. I wish we didn't have to go home.

I woke up in the middle of the night again. It has become harder and harder to get a good sleep these days. My thoughts are dominated by her presence. It's suffocating. I wonder if she's able to sleep at night as soundly as she is during class.

I know it's bad for my health to be awake at this hour, but I cannot escape the thought of her. Will she wear that red ribbon again today. Will she be reading the book she borrowed yesterday. Will she eat lunch. Will she smile.

She's getting thinner. And her eyes have sunken in over the past month or so. She assures everyone that she's fine, but I can tell she isn't. Her sports clothing is barely staying on. She looks ready to faint at any moment. It's so painful to see. It makes me feel like throwing up.

She looked at me again. She doesn't look well. I wonder if I did anything to upset her; to put her in this position. It's so hot out today. It's making me feel dizzy. I was about to ask the teacher if I could sit out when she fainted. That pushed me over the edge.

I woke up in the nurse's office. The nurse was telling me off for skipping lunch and for not sleeping right. But what about her. Was she ok? I didn't see her for the rest of the day. They say she had to go to the hospital. My mother pushed me to get checked out as well.

The white walls of the hospital were as cold and uncaring as always. When was the last time I had come here, I wondered. I told the doctor that I was having trouble sleeping of a night, though I neglected to mention about how uncomfortable I was at school. It would probably come off as childish to him.

The year was coming to an end, and next year was going to be different. I wonder if I should try and talk to her before school breaks up for the year. If I can just understand why she rejects me so, maybe things could be better.

Next year, she's going to move away. I don't want that. I don't want anyone else to see her like I do. I don't know what I can do though. Can I talk to her? Would she even listen to me? Would she call me a freak, or a stalker? What happened this year was my fault, after all. But if it's going to end, maybe I shouldn't dwell on it any longer. It's a painful though.

She stopped going to the library, and taking the same train home as me. I must have creeped her out too much. I still got to enjoy her sleeping smile a few times, at least. Next year, it will all be different. If that's going to be the case, maybe I shouldn't dwell on it any longer. It's honestly a relieving thought.

* * *

This was a short one shot I did as a test. Though it's a bit messy, and possibly a bit hard to follow, the intent was to display something that cannot really be done in other forms of media, as well as practice my own writing skills. As should be a bit more obvious by the end, this was never one girl watching another, but two girls watching each other. Both for their own reasons, and both who's health suffered throughout the year. One was too focused on the other that she failed to fully understand how much she was inadvertently hurting her until it was too late, and one who felt pressured by society and the constant gaze of the first. She felt that she was below the other girl, and thus incorrectly came to the conclusion that she had done something to annoy, disgust, or otherwise off put the first girl. Their names are Hikari, as the stalker, and Ai, as the stalkee. This idea of a restrictive yet focused story is not something I would feel could be conveyed in other forms of media well. As one reading a story like this may well think it is only one girl to start with, while in any other form of media it would be instantly clear. It is only through the differences in the character's personalities that it become clear throughout the story just how different they are. It then provides a potential fun to go back and reread and try to spot exactly which girl is having which thoughts.


End file.
